Saturday, February 22, 2014
February 22. Home, in our own bed! We flew in the 19th, spent the day at doctors on the 20th, the 21st I got to go grocery shopping and our kids left. That evening Mrs. Thorney climbed the stairs to our very own bedroom, and this morning it was a long time until we got out of bed for breakfast (well, I got out and brought her breakfast.) I'm now trying to be the perfect lover and the perfect service sub at the same time, and it is hard work. She's still on a walker and oxygen, but very much herself intellectually and as a lover. She needs lots of care and help but can still lick my balls exquisitely. When or whether we'll manage penis-in-vagina sex again, or whether she'll ever kneel to kiss my feet again, are open, but there is so much else we can still do that we are very happy.
Friday, February 14, 2014
February 14, Friday. We have escaped from the rehab home! After two days of working through absurdly difficult hoops, we are now at our daughter's house until next Wednesday, Feb 19, when we'll fly back to our own home. Mrs. Thorney is still on oxygen (1 liter/min) and will need 3 liters/min on the airplane, but the pulmonologist hopes she'll be off oxygen in a month or two. It is SO nice to be back in a double bed! Ad tomorrow we hope to have a shower together for the first time since late December.
Example of the silly obstacles: The rehab home faxed a prescription list to the pharmacy. The margins were set wrong, and the left quarter inch was cut off in the received copy. Since the original had no margins (???!!!) that meant the first two letters of each drug name were cut off, as well as the info the pharmacy could have used to calll back and say there was a problem.
Anyhow, Mrs. Thorney is enthusiastic, climbing stairs, and we are still very much in love.
Example of the silly obstacles: The rehab home faxed a prescription list to the pharmacy. The margins were set wrong, and the left quarter inch was cut off in the received copy. Since the original had no margins (???!!!) that meant the first two letters of each drug name were cut off, as well as the info the pharmacy could have used to calll back and say there was a problem.
Anyhow, Mrs. Thorney is enthusiastic, climbing stairs, and we are still very much in love.
Monday, February 10, 2014
February 10, Monday, about 7 PM - The pulmonogist says we can go home and start to live fairly normally, but with oxygen for Mrs. Thorney. He says the pleural effusion (fluid around the lung) is resolving slowly and we can probably get her off oxygen in a month, more or less. We see the cardiologists Wednesday for what looks like a full day of tests. If they find nothing upsetting we can then make arrangements to escape the rehab home and fly to Memphis - there are still a lot of logistics, like air reservations and arranging oxygen for the trip and at home, but there is real hope for the future.
Bizarre sidelights - the internet connection at the rehab home allows access to some porn sites, but will not allow mail-order purchase of underwear (we came with clothes for a week and have been here 6 weeks so far) and will not allow access to airline or travel agency sites. ????
Bizarre sidelights - the internet connection at the rehab home allows access to some porn sites, but will not allow mail-order purchase of underwear (we came with clothes for a week and have been here 6 weeks so far) and will not allow access to airline or travel agency sites. ????
Saturday, February 08, 2014
February 8, about 1 am - Sorry, internet connectivity has been a bit weak in the rehab home. We had several rough days after the last post as Mrs. Thorney apparently had a digestive flu - vomiting and diarrhea Monday and Tuesday, no appetite Sunday-Wednesday. Fever never got over 99.2 (F), perhaps 37.3 C? She recovered rapidly late Wednesday, although even now (late Friday evening) appetite is weak. We had to up her oxygen feed to 2 liter/min Sunday - Thursday, we have cut it back to 1 liter on Friday but her blood oxygen still drops too much when she is off oxygen even briefly (e.g. to change from dress into nightie).
Her muscles are doing fine - she is doing slaloms on her rollator (4-wheeled walker), can stand and do activities, can go up and down stairs - so the only obstacle to going home is the fact that there is still oxygen trouble (fluid around the left lung), We have appointments with a pulmonologist Monday Feb 10 - (possibly drain fluid again, last done on Jan 16?) and the cardiologists Wednesday Feb 12. With luck they'll solve the problem and we'll get home soon. We do have friends who use oxygen constantly, lead a reasonably active social life carrying an oxygen bottle with them, but we hope it doesn't come to that yet.
Limited sex life progress given the single bed and limitations of a rehab home, but she is back to wearing sexy panties I choose and her cock licking has become considerably more enthusiastic than a week ago,
Her muscles are doing fine - she is doing slaloms on her rollator (4-wheeled walker), can stand and do activities, can go up and down stairs - so the only obstacle to going home is the fact that there is still oxygen trouble (fluid around the left lung), We have appointments with a pulmonologist Monday Feb 10 - (possibly drain fluid again, last done on Jan 16?) and the cardiologists Wednesday Feb 12. With luck they'll solve the problem and we'll get home soon. We do have friends who use oxygen constantly, lead a reasonably active social life carrying an oxygen bottle with them, but we hope it doesn't come to that yet.
Limited sex life progress given the single bed and limitations of a rehab home, but she is back to wearing sexy panties I choose and her cock licking has become considerably more enthusiastic than a week ago,
Saturday, February 01, 2014
February 1, 8:30 PM. Still more improvement, although with surgery having been January 9 and in the rehab home since Jan 17, it seems slow. She's down to 1 liter/min of oxygen, breathing more deeply (750 ml on the spirometer, after a few weeks at 500 or less), walking 100+ feet several times a day. Stairs are still hard due to the broken hip last March, and I'd love to have her off oxygen and doing some stairs before we go home. Her interest in things sexual has improved dramatically in the last couple of days - I'm being called "Master" again and she's suggesting licking my cock several times a day, and complaining about the lack of a double bed in the rehab home. I'm still sleeping on an air mattress beside her bed, attending her in the bathroom, helping her dress, and generally satisfying my sub urges.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
January 29 - She is still improving, but we are still in the rehab home. Incisions are fine, heart sounds fine, but still having trouble with fluid on the lungs. 40 mg Lasix/ day and oxygen 2 liters/min. While she can function for a couple of hours off oxygen, her blood oxygen level then falls below 90%; they are keeping her on oxygen constantly to keep her energy level up for physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. The idea seems to be that if they can build up muscles it will make her breathing stronger too. She is very much herself intellectually.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
January 20 2013 - We are now in a rehab home in Prairie Village, a suburb of Kansas City, Kansas. Mrs. Thorney is sleeping a lot, still on oxygen (2 liters) when resting, but has walked 20 feet twice today. I'm afraid it is not going to be the miraculously swift recovery I'd hoped for and we have sometimes seen before, but she is very much herself mentally and we have good hopes for the future. IF anyone in the KC area would like to do a nursing home visit, message me on Fetlife.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
It's been going pretty well. There was a problem with fluid accumulation in the lung - they put in a cathether through her back and drained about 1.3 liters of fluid. I think this set recovery back about two days. It is now January 16, 7 days after the surgery, and they hope to release her to a reha home tomorrow. She's still on oxygen through a nosepiece (nasal cannuli), but down to a one liter rate having been on 4 liters a few days ago. She still isn't eating as well as they'd like, and she has only walked aboit 20 feet at a time (twice today). She's very much herself intellectually - a bit of short-term memory trouble, can't remember the date, but at 89 and a half I can't complain about that.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
As you can tell, I was so groggy I had days of the week wrong. Surgery was Thursday January 9, it is now late Saturday morning January 11. They replaced Mrs. Thorney's aortic valve, placed an aortic stent, and put in a pacemaker. With minor complications, 14 hours of anesthesia and deep sedation. She is recovering remarkably well but still a bit of confusion between dreams and reality and with short-term memory. Nurses say mental problems for a few days are very normal in this situation. Limited range of motion and lifting ability with left arm for six weeks due to incisions. She wants to get up on her walker but they say no as she may forget and put too much weight on the left arm.
We are enjoying embarrassing the medical students who come through when they ask about "baseline behavior before the surgery" by saying that since her broken hip last March, she has generally preferred 69 to the missionary position. (One senior cardiologist did say "I hope my wife stays interested that long.")
We are enjoying embarrassing the medical students who come through when they ask about "baseline behavior before the surgery" by saying that since her broken hip last March, she has generally preferred 69 to the missionary position. (One senior cardiologist did say "I hope my wife stays interested that long.")
Thursday, January 09, 2014
Jan 9 Monday 7:30 PM. They have had trouble getting her blood pressure
and body temperature up to normal levels. As of now the nurse says
that body temperature is OK but that they are going through
change-of-shift and that the doctors who did the surgeries are now off
duty. They may lighten the anesthesia to test reflexes this evening and
may not. The nurse guesses that they won't try to seriously wake her
up before 8 am or so tomorrow. But she suggests I stay here another hour
or so to talk to the night shift of doctors, then go home to get a
night's sleep and come back in the morning. I may well not make another
report before noon Tuesday unless there is
an exciting change.
an exciting change.
at 3:30 pm central Jan 9- all the surgery done, including putting in a
pacemaker. Still asleep, and they say it may be another hour and a half
or so before she can open eyes. It seems to me that is the third time
at least they have said "another hour or two." There have been lots of e-mails, phone calls, family with me all the time.
1 PM Jan 9 Monday - surgery going fine. Stent in aorta placed well, Aortic valve replaced with some leakage (backflow) but no serious trouble. The one problem is that heart rate was too slow when they turned off the temporary (during surgery) pacemaker. So they are taking her back in to surgery to put in a pacemaker, a very minor procedure compared to what they have done already. Possibly two more hours until out of anesthesia.
Wednesday, January 08, 2014
Saturday, January 04, 2014
Mrs Thorney has heart valve trouble, early 2014
Last note at bottom, Jan 3 about 7 PM
We drove from Memphis to Kansas City to visit daughter and family around Christmas 2013. Late on Dec 27 Mrs. Thorney (hereafter She or she for brevity) was unusually tired; when she was still tired the next morning I took vital signs and we went to the nearest emergency room. The initial diagnosis was severe congestive heart failure, with a great deal of fluid in the lungs.
January 2, 2014 report:
We've known for some years that She had severe aortic stenosis (stiffening and narrowing of the aortic valve, the main valve leaving the heart.) Whenever we've asked about replacing that valve, her cardiologist has said "she is not complaining of shortness of breath or chest pain; she is up and about and active mentally and socially; let's not do elective surgery. It will let us know when it needs replacing. Now, it seems, it has let us know. Luckily Kansas City has one of the major heart hospitals (St. Luke's) and She was transferred there by ambulance.
Her attitude toward this, as to a few previous incidents, has been "I've had a wonderful, full, life. Life doesn't owe me anything. But I'm having much too much fun to leave. What are you (doctors) going to try next?"
She is comfortable, in no pain, fluid out of lungs, on oxygen but able to walk around with a long oxygen cord. There are plenty of phone calls and family around.
The doctors have been spending a great deal of time testing, discussing alternatives, explaining things to us. They say this is not an emergency situation, they want to work out the best procedure and best surgical team. They don't want to open her chest, preferring to go in through a small hole and replace the valve that way. (She feels she's an old hand at this, having had a stent placed in her abdomen, in the superior mesenteric artery, in 2011.) They don't think they can go up her aorta from her leg due to the prior aortic dissection. They could enter between ribs or by cutting a small hole in the sternum. But they prefer to use instruments placed down the esophagus to get a good look at what they are doing, and She has had a constricted esophagus for years (causing her to eat slowly, but it has not been enough of a problem to justify surgery in the past.) So we are now awaiting an angiogram to see what the arteries around the heart look like and an upper endoscopy and possible biopsies and balloon stretch of the esophagus to see if it can take the instruments the cardiologists want to put down there. As of January 1, it sounds to me as if the surgery itself may be one to three weeks in the future, assuming they work out a method.
January 2 PM: Today we had high precision CT scans, pulmonary function test, got more prior reports from other hospitals, discussions to plan work for tomorrow (upper endoscopy down to the duodenum, biopsies if indicated, possible balloon stretch of the esophagus. Instructions on what she can and can't eat have been changing every two hours, sometime before she can open the ice cream they just delivered. We cannot complain of any lack of medical attention, and have lovely discussions with the chaplain. They are still exploring the possibility that the presenting cause was a form of pneumonia, although that does not negate that the aortic valve is getting worse and, by any usual standard, needs replacing. One problem is that the muscles that push things down the esophagus are weak or uncoordinated, so when she eats in a hospital bed (not fully upright) things she eats or drinks don't go down properly and she may get them into her lungs.
.It's after 5 PM and we've been told to expect more doctors this evening.
January 2 at 7 PM - they did more pulmonary function tests, no one has told us results. (later - lungs working at about 50 percent of optimal) More past test results have arrived. They have cancelled the Friday angiogram [but later reinstated] and scheduled a major endoscopy to look over the throat, esophagus, and duodenum, biopsying and stretching as possible, then a swallowing test. So she's on nothing-by-mouth for the next 18 hours or so, and back on an intravenous. If they decide they still need the angiogram that can't be done before Monday.[wrong again]
Jan 3 PM. It has been a very very busy day. An upper endoscopy in the morning showed the esophagus sufficiently clear that they will be able to put a doppler sonogram probe down the esophagus to image the heart from that direction during surgery. No narrowing of the esophagus was found but they have considerable questions about her swallowing ability - perhaps malfunction of the swallowing muscles (peristalsis?). They hope to do a swallowing study Saturday morning. Reading of x-rays showed a very fuzzy area near the heart and they don't understand it - pneumonia? inflammation? aspiration? something related to heart? So the pulmunologists want to do more before letting her out of the hospital. Afternoon they did a coronary angiogram since they had found no record of a recent one elsewhere. No arteries are blocked, in fact they were in unusually good shape. The lower part of the aortic dissection has healed remarkably, according to a cat scan. But there is a substantial aneurysm (7 to 8 cm) in the aorta just below the left subclavian artery (where the arch turns down.) Cardiologist believes the odd appearance in the lung may be something associated with that large aneurysm. So they need to replace the aortic valve and stent the aortic aneurysm. They hope they can assemble the rather large surgical team to do that on Monday morning.
They cannot go up through the aorta because one end of the stent in the superior mesenteric artery extends out just enough into the aorta that equipment headed up the aorta might snag on it. (It may not have projected out when it was placed but the aorta has changed shape considerably since then as the dissection has healed.) So they propose to go in between the ribs under the left breast, run equipment into the bottom tip of the heart into the left ventricle (if I understood correctly) then run their tube through the heart and push the existing valve flaps aside and install a new aortic valve (bovine pericardial valve in cobalt-nickel?), then continue to move their equipment through the new valve to stent the aorta. The man says he has done this quite a few times, most recently last week. (Dr Allen is the one talking with us and is one of the surgeons who will be there.)
Risk estimates? 10 percent risk of serious side effects or death from the surgery; over 50% risk of death within a year if the surgery is not done, given probable failure of the aortic valve or probable bursting of the aneurysm.
She came through both major procedures today fine, recovered quickly, the anesthesiologist was extremely nervous about the endoscopy and did terminate it a few minutes before the gastroenterologist would have liked but the gastroenterologist says he is happy with the results and saw nothing that would require biopsies or a balloon stretch.
They are letting her have ice cream and some other stuff this evening - "full liquids but no actual liquid", in other words soft foods, after about 28 hours of nothing-by-mouth. She is a bit confused by all the goings on but speaks loudly and demands explanations appropriately. She helped convince the reluctant anesthesiologist that yes, she really wanted this done.
(end of Jan 3 notes)
Jan 4 morning
The swallowing tests went well, they are letting her eat again. She is delighted!
The hospital web filter has now blocked our usual social website as being too explicit,so I'll have to put a note there with this address when I am at the daughter's house.
Apparently she'll get to rest Saturday afternoon and Sunday and they hope to do the major surgery on Monday late morning, assuming she is still stable and the surgery scheduled before her that morning goes as planned.
Last note at bottom, Jan 3 about 7 PM
We drove from Memphis to Kansas City to visit daughter and family around Christmas 2013. Late on Dec 27 Mrs. Thorney (hereafter She or she for brevity) was unusually tired; when she was still tired the next morning I took vital signs and we went to the nearest emergency room. The initial diagnosis was severe congestive heart failure, with a great deal of fluid in the lungs.
January 2, 2014 report:
We've known for some years that She had severe aortic stenosis (stiffening and narrowing of the aortic valve, the main valve leaving the heart.) Whenever we've asked about replacing that valve, her cardiologist has said "she is not complaining of shortness of breath or chest pain; she is up and about and active mentally and socially; let's not do elective surgery. It will let us know when it needs replacing. Now, it seems, it has let us know. Luckily Kansas City has one of the major heart hospitals (St. Luke's) and She was transferred there by ambulance.
Her attitude toward this, as to a few previous incidents, has been "I've had a wonderful, full, life. Life doesn't owe me anything. But I'm having much too much fun to leave. What are you (doctors) going to try next?"
She is comfortable, in no pain, fluid out of lungs, on oxygen but able to walk around with a long oxygen cord. There are plenty of phone calls and family around.
The doctors have been spending a great deal of time testing, discussing alternatives, explaining things to us. They say this is not an emergency situation, they want to work out the best procedure and best surgical team. They don't want to open her chest, preferring to go in through a small hole and replace the valve that way. (She feels she's an old hand at this, having had a stent placed in her abdomen, in the superior mesenteric artery, in 2011.) They don't think they can go up her aorta from her leg due to the prior aortic dissection. They could enter between ribs or by cutting a small hole in the sternum. But they prefer to use instruments placed down the esophagus to get a good look at what they are doing, and She has had a constricted esophagus for years (causing her to eat slowly, but it has not been enough of a problem to justify surgery in the past.) So we are now awaiting an angiogram to see what the arteries around the heart look like and an upper endoscopy and possible biopsies and balloon stretch of the esophagus to see if it can take the instruments the cardiologists want to put down there. As of January 1, it sounds to me as if the surgery itself may be one to three weeks in the future, assuming they work out a method.
January 2 PM: Today we had high precision CT scans, pulmonary function test, got more prior reports from other hospitals, discussions to plan work for tomorrow (upper endoscopy down to the duodenum, biopsies if indicated, possible balloon stretch of the esophagus. Instructions on what she can and can't eat have been changing every two hours, sometime before she can open the ice cream they just delivered. We cannot complain of any lack of medical attention, and have lovely discussions with the chaplain. They are still exploring the possibility that the presenting cause was a form of pneumonia, although that does not negate that the aortic valve is getting worse and, by any usual standard, needs replacing. One problem is that the muscles that push things down the esophagus are weak or uncoordinated, so when she eats in a hospital bed (not fully upright) things she eats or drinks don't go down properly and she may get them into her lungs.
.It's after 5 PM and we've been told to expect more doctors this evening.
January 2 at 7 PM - they did more pulmonary function tests, no one has told us results. (later - lungs working at about 50 percent of optimal) More past test results have arrived. They have cancelled the Friday angiogram [but later reinstated] and scheduled a major endoscopy to look over the throat, esophagus, and duodenum, biopsying and stretching as possible, then a swallowing test. So she's on nothing-by-mouth for the next 18 hours or so, and back on an intravenous. If they decide they still need the angiogram that can't be done before Monday.[wrong again]
Jan 3 PM. It has been a very very busy day. An upper endoscopy in the morning showed the esophagus sufficiently clear that they will be able to put a doppler sonogram probe down the esophagus to image the heart from that direction during surgery. No narrowing of the esophagus was found but they have considerable questions about her swallowing ability - perhaps malfunction of the swallowing muscles (peristalsis?). They hope to do a swallowing study Saturday morning. Reading of x-rays showed a very fuzzy area near the heart and they don't understand it - pneumonia? inflammation? aspiration? something related to heart? So the pulmunologists want to do more before letting her out of the hospital. Afternoon they did a coronary angiogram since they had found no record of a recent one elsewhere. No arteries are blocked, in fact they were in unusually good shape. The lower part of the aortic dissection has healed remarkably, according to a cat scan. But there is a substantial aneurysm (7 to 8 cm) in the aorta just below the left subclavian artery (where the arch turns down.) Cardiologist believes the odd appearance in the lung may be something associated with that large aneurysm. So they need to replace the aortic valve and stent the aortic aneurysm. They hope they can assemble the rather large surgical team to do that on Monday morning.
They cannot go up through the aorta because one end of the stent in the superior mesenteric artery extends out just enough into the aorta that equipment headed up the aorta might snag on it. (It may not have projected out when it was placed but the aorta has changed shape considerably since then as the dissection has healed.) So they propose to go in between the ribs under the left breast, run equipment into the bottom tip of the heart into the left ventricle (if I understood correctly) then run their tube through the heart and push the existing valve flaps aside and install a new aortic valve (bovine pericardial valve in cobalt-nickel?), then continue to move their equipment through the new valve to stent the aorta. The man says he has done this quite a few times, most recently last week. (Dr Allen is the one talking with us and is one of the surgeons who will be there.)
Risk estimates? 10 percent risk of serious side effects or death from the surgery; over 50% risk of death within a year if the surgery is not done, given probable failure of the aortic valve or probable bursting of the aneurysm.
She came through both major procedures today fine, recovered quickly, the anesthesiologist was extremely nervous about the endoscopy and did terminate it a few minutes before the gastroenterologist would have liked but the gastroenterologist says he is happy with the results and saw nothing that would require biopsies or a balloon stretch.
They are letting her have ice cream and some other stuff this evening - "full liquids but no actual liquid", in other words soft foods, after about 28 hours of nothing-by-mouth. She is a bit confused by all the goings on but speaks loudly and demands explanations appropriately. She helped convince the reluctant anesthesiologist that yes, she really wanted this done.
(end of Jan 3 notes)
Jan 4 morning
The swallowing tests went well, they are letting her eat again. She is delighted!
The hospital web filter has now blocked our usual social website as being too explicit,so I'll have to put a note there with this address when I am at the daughter's house.
Apparently she'll get to rest Saturday afternoon and Sunday and they hope to do the major surgery on Monday late morning, assuming she is still stable and the surgery scheduled before her that morning goes as planned.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Monday, August 03, 2009
Saturday, August 25, 2007
More politics than bondage
I'm not sure what gets me to venture into politics here. I guess browsing in other blogs and following links in Flickr etc. led me to pictures of Wonder Woman tied up, etc., and somehow I was reminded of this cartoon of John Q. Public thoroughly tied up in recording tape, vintage 1970, during the government - wiretapping - the - public scandal of that year.
http://www.loc.gov/rr/print/swann/herblock/images/s03488u.jpg
I'm a great fan of Herblock and it is nice to have a large collection of his cartoons available on-line; a remarkable number are very timely. Perhaps the fact that I like him so much means I don't even have to mention actual political opinions here.
I'm not sure what gets me to venture into politics here. I guess browsing in other blogs and following links in Flickr etc. led me to pictures of Wonder Woman tied up, etc., and somehow I was reminded of this cartoon of John Q. Public thoroughly tied up in recording tape, vintage 1970, during the government - wiretapping - the - public scandal of that year.
http://www.loc.gov/rr/print/swann/herblock/images/s03488u.jpg
I'm a great fan of Herblock and it is nice to have a large collection of his cartoons available on-line; a remarkable number are very timely. Perhaps the fact that I like him so much means I don't even have to mention actual political opinions here.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
A desire to have some of the advantages of a girl...
I was reading a recent post of another blogger, at
http://maybemaimed.blogspot.com/2007/08/i-want-to-be-pretty-boy.html
and it reminded me of a post I'd made just over 6 years ago. So here is the part of it I can easily find...
---
.... While I love hearing "Please Master" and "Yes Master" from my wife, it is no secret around here that I work pretty hard to keep her happy and even expect her to let me know what is needed to keep her happy, even if it comes with a "Please, Master" in the preface.
The intensity of the pleasure I get out of making her happy startles me (and her) sometimes. I sometimes think the 'Please, Master' stuff is my way of protecting my ego as I (happily) do things for her. Where does this urge, the intensity of this pleasure, come from in me? I think I can say a few words about one of the fantasies in my mind.
.... As a young man I was very much taken by Marilyn Monroe movies. And I found that I mentally revised somewhat the character she so often plays, the sweet sexy young nightclub entertainer who has attracted the interest of the successful older businessman.
Now, Marilyn isn't really dumb. Rather, she is smart enough to know when to play dumb. And she gets, from my point of view, a pretty good deal. Her businessman is busy enough that Marilyn has some time to do her own thing; she has a job for fun and pin money but isn't financially dependent on it and can cut a day or sass the boss when she wants. She has her man pretty well wrapped around her finger and gets what she wants. In exchange she is available when needed, attentive, affectionate, ready to run off on a trip or to a party, and, one suspects, ready to hop into bed when needed. [Note: I'm reciting the Marilyn Monroe fantasy I built up, which is not quite the same as the role she actually portrays].
I -thought- the male viewer was supposed to identify with one of the men in the movie - the young guy smitten with Marilyn, or the older man who Marilyn attracted. But I didn't want to be them. I wanted to be Marilyn. She didn't have to work more than she wanted to for the fun of it, didn't have to solve her own problems, didn't have to act strong and independent - all she had to do was be desirable, be available when wanted, and know when to play dumb. It seemed to me she got a much better deal out of it than the men did.
Now, I did have a reasonably normal, and reasonably successful, academic career. ... And other than that we tended to follow the time-honored tradition: she decided the small issues, and I only took charge of the important issues, (like when would be a convenient time to have my cock sucked. :) Actually, we divide decision making pretty well. She's better at major financial decisions than I am, so she makes them.)
And as years went on, we've grown happier and closer together. My wife retired 13 years before I did, giving her more time to make me happy, and more time for other activities. As I approached retirement, I watched how she spent her time and increasingly took time away from the office to join her. I enjoyed the social rounds and trips she suggested. I found that I really -liked- coming when called, especially as she mastered the right way to do the calling.
(Phone call at office: "My pussy is awfully wet, Master, and I think I need to change panties. Do you have time to come pick me out a pair?")
We had enough money, between us, that I could retire - which meant I could and did sass the boss when indicated.
And I mentioned one day to a psychologist (as I discussed some other retirement issues) that I was finally managing to live a large part of my Marilyn fantasy. With my wife as the successful older businessman, and me as the (not-so-)young sex object - enjoying my job and the 'pin money', but no need for it financially, and getting all the sex and love I wanted, with my main job being to be available for my wife when wanted and to make sure that she knew I felt her to be infinitely desirable (which I do).
I described the Marilyn fantasy and he looked at me a bit as if I had two heads. "You really like that?" "Well," I said, "it appeals to me a lot more than your job. After all, what's wrong with a job where the principal duties include being found highly sexually desirable, being ready to run off on a trip or to a party, talking a lot about subjects of mutual interest, and the pay just happens to include all the sex that I want." He looked me over, grinned strangely, and changed the subject...
I was reading a recent post of another blogger, at
http://maybemaimed.blogspot.com/2007/08/i-want-to-be-pretty-boy.html
and it reminded me of a post I'd made just over 6 years ago. So here is the part of it I can easily find...
---
.... While I love hearing "Please Master" and "Yes Master" from my wife, it is no secret around here that I work pretty hard to keep her happy and even expect her to let me know what is needed to keep her happy, even if it comes with a "Please, Master" in the preface.
The intensity of the pleasure I get out of making her happy startles me (and her) sometimes. I sometimes think the 'Please, Master' stuff is my way of protecting my ego as I (happily) do things for her. Where does this urge, the intensity of this pleasure, come from in me? I think I can say a few words about one of the fantasies in my mind.
.... As a young man I was very much taken by Marilyn Monroe movies. And I found that I mentally revised somewhat the character she so often plays, the sweet sexy young nightclub entertainer who has attracted the interest of the successful older businessman.
Now, Marilyn isn't really dumb. Rather, she is smart enough to know when to play dumb. And she gets, from my point of view, a pretty good deal. Her businessman is busy enough that Marilyn has some time to do her own thing; she has a job for fun and pin money but isn't financially dependent on it and can cut a day or sass the boss when she wants. She has her man pretty well wrapped around her finger and gets what she wants. In exchange she is available when needed, attentive, affectionate, ready to run off on a trip or to a party, and, one suspects, ready to hop into bed when needed. [Note: I'm reciting the Marilyn Monroe fantasy I built up, which is not quite the same as the role she actually portrays].
I -thought- the male viewer was supposed to identify with one of the men in the movie - the young guy smitten with Marilyn, or the older man who Marilyn attracted. But I didn't want to be them. I wanted to be Marilyn. She didn't have to work more than she wanted to for the fun of it, didn't have to solve her own problems, didn't have to act strong and independent - all she had to do was be desirable, be available when wanted, and know when to play dumb. It seemed to me she got a much better deal out of it than the men did.
Now, I did have a reasonably normal, and reasonably successful, academic career. ... And other than that we tended to follow the time-honored tradition: she decided the small issues, and I only took charge of the important issues, (like when would be a convenient time to have my cock sucked. :) Actually, we divide decision making pretty well. She's better at major financial decisions than I am, so she makes them.)
And as years went on, we've grown happier and closer together. My wife retired 13 years before I did, giving her more time to make me happy, and more time for other activities. As I approached retirement, I watched how she spent her time and increasingly took time away from the office to join her. I enjoyed the social rounds and trips she suggested. I found that I really -liked- coming when called, especially as she mastered the right way to do the calling.
(Phone call at office: "My pussy is awfully wet, Master, and I think I need to change panties. Do you have time to come pick me out a pair?")
We had enough money, between us, that I could retire - which meant I could and did sass the boss when indicated.
And I mentioned one day to a psychologist (as I discussed some other retirement issues) that I was finally managing to live a large part of my Marilyn fantasy. With my wife as the successful older businessman, and me as the (not-so-)young sex object - enjoying my job and the 'pin money', but no need for it financially, and getting all the sex and love I wanted, with my main job being to be available for my wife when wanted and to make sure that she knew I felt her to be infinitely desirable (which I do).
I described the Marilyn fantasy and he looked at me a bit as if I had two heads. "You really like that?" "Well," I said, "it appeals to me a lot more than your job. After all, what's wrong with a job where the principal duties include being found highly sexually desirable, being ready to run off on a trip or to a party, talking a lot about subjects of mutual interest, and the pay just happens to include all the sex that I want." He looked me over, grinned strangely, and changed the subject...
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Progress report, August 18, 2007
I haven’t been giving frequent reports lately, but occasional milestones merit celebrating.
Mrs. Thorney, age 83, continues to recover from the mugging on June 3, in which the most serious injury was a multiple break in her right shoulder. The pins holding it together temporarily came out July 20 and the last bandages off July 26. The last of the mugging bruises faded the first week of August and only a few minor bruises from the July 20 surgery remain.
Arm movement is returning, and the August 16 x-rays of the shoulder joint show that bones have moved back to close to correct positions. She can raise her right arm upward or outward about 90 degrees and the physical therapist can lift it to 120 to 140 degrees, a faster than predicted progress. Outward rotation (elbow at side, forearm horizontal) is still extremely limited. That (rotator cuff) is usually the last muscle to recover. There is still some tenderness on the right shoulder and upper arm, somewhat limiting hugs and positions.
“Normal” sex life is back to close to normal - after two months of no penetration it has taken some patience to get the vaginal tissues back to pain-free flexibility, and she still prefers that I position myself so it doesn’t quite go”all the way in” but enjoys vigorous thrusting short of that point. (This does not make me wish I had a smaller penis on a permanent basis, but it would be convenient just now.) I haven’t given up kissing and rubbing her feet - it’s a wonderful way of turning us both on, and that consequence of her injury will be a permanent addition to our repertoire.
During the first two weeks of August we were in a family reunion / granddaughter’s wedding situation, often with 9 children or grandchildren in the house with us. The end of that period and having the house to ourselves has merited real celebration, particularly as she has so much more freedom of movement now than two weeks ago. So I’ve turned the thermostat temperature up (why not save money during a major heat wave?) to make clothing unnecessary and am very much enjoying having her run around the house naked. I’ve been making a bit of a pest myself that way, in fact - I think I took about 80 pictures yesterday, getting her into odd poses in places in the house I’d never thought to pose her before. I’ve also gotten out all the impractical tiny and see-through panties that we hadn’t enjoyed much in the last few months and am having her do “fashion shows” and strip-teases for me. (Bras are a problem, mainly just left off - she can’t work a standard rear-fastening bra just now and we’ve gotten some front-fastening ones but they are more practical than sexy-fun.)
While she is going to the physical therapist three times a week for arm exercises, it is only in the last few days she has been able to resume the other stretches and such that I find fun to watch (especially when she is naked.) And this morning came a major breakthrough when she said, “Hey, there is something I need to do - stand right here. No, a few inches that way.” And then she knelt down, got way down and kissed my feet - and got herself back up without help, having positioned herself to use her left arm to pull and push on a blanket chest. It’s the first time since the mugging June 3, and real cause for celebration!
I haven’t been giving frequent reports lately, but occasional milestones merit celebrating.
Mrs. Thorney, age 83, continues to recover from the mugging on June 3, in which the most serious injury was a multiple break in her right shoulder. The pins holding it together temporarily came out July 20 and the last bandages off July 26. The last of the mugging bruises faded the first week of August and only a few minor bruises from the July 20 surgery remain.
Arm movement is returning, and the August 16 x-rays of the shoulder joint show that bones have moved back to close to correct positions. She can raise her right arm upward or outward about 90 degrees and the physical therapist can lift it to 120 to 140 degrees, a faster than predicted progress. Outward rotation (elbow at side, forearm horizontal) is still extremely limited. That (rotator cuff) is usually the last muscle to recover. There is still some tenderness on the right shoulder and upper arm, somewhat limiting hugs and positions.
“Normal” sex life is back to close to normal - after two months of no penetration it has taken some patience to get the vaginal tissues back to pain-free flexibility, and she still prefers that I position myself so it doesn’t quite go”all the way in” but enjoys vigorous thrusting short of that point. (This does not make me wish I had a smaller penis on a permanent basis, but it would be convenient just now.) I haven’t given up kissing and rubbing her feet - it’s a wonderful way of turning us both on, and that consequence of her injury will be a permanent addition to our repertoire.
During the first two weeks of August we were in a family reunion / granddaughter’s wedding situation, often with 9 children or grandchildren in the house with us. The end of that period and having the house to ourselves has merited real celebration, particularly as she has so much more freedom of movement now than two weeks ago. So I’ve turned the thermostat temperature up (why not save money during a major heat wave?) to make clothing unnecessary and am very much enjoying having her run around the house naked. I’ve been making a bit of a pest myself that way, in fact - I think I took about 80 pictures yesterday, getting her into odd poses in places in the house I’d never thought to pose her before. I’ve also gotten out all the impractical tiny and see-through panties that we hadn’t enjoyed much in the last few months and am having her do “fashion shows” and strip-teases for me. (Bras are a problem, mainly just left off - she can’t work a standard rear-fastening bra just now and we’ve gotten some front-fastening ones but they are more practical than sexy-fun.)
While she is going to the physical therapist three times a week for arm exercises, it is only in the last few days she has been able to resume the other stretches and such that I find fun to watch (especially when she is naked.) And this morning came a major breakthrough when she said, “Hey, there is something I need to do - stand right here. No, a few inches that way.” And then she knelt down, got way down and kissed my feet - and got herself back up without help, having positioned herself to use her left arm to pull and push on a blanket chest. It’s the first time since the mugging June 3, and real cause for celebration!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
2007-06-22
Where does the sub sleep?
There are a great many images in literature of where the sub / slave sleeps. We can ignore the dungeon or stable, chained in the corner, in a wire cage in the middle of the living room; not my style. Kneeling naked in a wall niche, ready at hand, or on a pile of furs at the foot of the Master's or Mistress's bed - those have a sensuality of them that I can fantasize about, even get an erection from - but I wouldn't want to live them, on either side of the power equation.
Mrs. Thorney has been my wife and toy and sex object for many years, and I want her in bed, next to me, naked and available. We regret any circumstance when we have to give up any of those things - naked, available, and touching or in easy reach. Stuck in a twin-bedded room when traveling, we'll sleep together in one bed rather than give up the closeness.
But when she was mugged and seriously injured June 3, that was no longer a possibility. When I moved her from the hospital bed to a hotel bed June 7, she was still sore all over,heavily bandaged, right arm strapped to her body, a needle ("port") in her left arm for intravenous. On June 22nd, she still has the arm strapped to her body, plenty of bruises and tender spots, and hugging or cuddling or even random touching is still out of the question.
As I've said before, the main places I can touch are her feet and her legs below the knees. She is not sleeping well, and I can expect to be awakened at any time, literally "24/7", to talk, to fetch her a drink, find her a book to read, help her in the bathroom, or rub her feet. If she decides that she does want to go back to sleep, kissing and cuddling her feet, rubbing them, gentle stroking of her calves, is one of the best ways to soothe her, make her feel loved, and let her go back to sleep.
So if I'm going to be doing my job - whether you call me a companion, a lover, a submissive - I have to be in easy call, in easy reach, and even in easy reach of her feet. And, as it happens, sleeping beside her in our usual way is -not- a feasible solution.
First, sleeping beside her, I may unconsciously reach out to touch her. And I mustn't. Being able to get in and out of bed means she has to be on her back or left side, with the edge of the bed at her left. That puts her badly injured right side near me or on top, the area of her that will be do-not-touch for some time to come.
Second, her right side is so tender that even disturbing or pulling on the sheet or blanket over her can be painful for her. So I can't share a sheet or blanket.
We asked an orthopedic surgeon about sleeping arrangements. He said he didn't think she could use a bed at all: she should be propped up in a reclining chair, with pillows. She will nap that way during the day, but wouldn't give up closeness to me at night. What could be done to increase the sense of normalcy, increase the sense of closeness, and, perhaps most importantly, increase my availability to do what she wants when she wants it?
We took a pile of pillows. We built a sort of nest for her in the bed. It is just a double bed (what would we want a larger one for, normally?) so there wasn't much room for me. But what room there was was much wider at the foot of the bed than at the head. The solution: make the bed, or nest, for her, and then put a pillow for me at the foot, give me a separate sheet, and have me lie parallel to her but with my head at her feet. My face is near her feet, ready to kiss or lick. If my arms reach out, I touch her legs - the part that I can touch. I can hug, kiss, cuddle, rub her legs and kiss and caress her feet whenever she wants, and as long as she wants.
It isn't the conventional sleeping arrangement for the submissive. I've never seen it in the "literature". But it works for us.
--
Is there any other couple here that has a sleeping arrangement of possible interest to the group? Does anyone in real life do any of the things that appear in the porn stories?
--
This is the end of the sequence of reports that I'd roughed out before the relatives arrived. So it may possibly be the last for awhile. I'll report back again when there is more to report and time to do so. Comments and discussion are invited.
And any notes that I can pass on to Mrs. Thorney, telling her how wonderful or helpful or ingenious she is or has been (or our postings have been) now or in the past, things she can read while convalescing, would be especially welcome. (She is now able to edit pictures using the mouse, but trying to type isn't working yet.)
--
Thorney
Where does the sub sleep?
There are a great many images in literature of where the sub / slave sleeps. We can ignore the dungeon or stable, chained in the corner, in a wire cage in the middle of the living room; not my style. Kneeling naked in a wall niche, ready at hand, or on a pile of furs at the foot of the Master's or Mistress's bed - those have a sensuality of them that I can fantasize about, even get an erection from - but I wouldn't want to live them, on either side of the power equation.
Mrs. Thorney has been my wife and toy and sex object for many years, and I want her in bed, next to me, naked and available. We regret any circumstance when we have to give up any of those things - naked, available, and touching or in easy reach. Stuck in a twin-bedded room when traveling, we'll sleep together in one bed rather than give up the closeness.
But when she was mugged and seriously injured June 3, that was no longer a possibility. When I moved her from the hospital bed to a hotel bed June 7, she was still sore all over,heavily bandaged, right arm strapped to her body, a needle ("port") in her left arm for intravenous. On June 22nd, she still has the arm strapped to her body, plenty of bruises and tender spots, and hugging or cuddling or even random touching is still out of the question.
As I've said before, the main places I can touch are her feet and her legs below the knees. She is not sleeping well, and I can expect to be awakened at any time, literally "24/7", to talk, to fetch her a drink, find her a book to read, help her in the bathroom, or rub her feet. If she decides that she does want to go back to sleep, kissing and cuddling her feet, rubbing them, gentle stroking of her calves, is one of the best ways to soothe her, make her feel loved, and let her go back to sleep.
So if I'm going to be doing my job - whether you call me a companion, a lover, a submissive - I have to be in easy call, in easy reach, and even in easy reach of her feet. And, as it happens, sleeping beside her in our usual way is -not- a feasible solution.
First, sleeping beside her, I may unconsciously reach out to touch her. And I mustn't. Being able to get in and out of bed means she has to be on her back or left side, with the edge of the bed at her left. That puts her badly injured right side near me or on top, the area of her that will be do-not-touch for some time to come.
Second, her right side is so tender that even disturbing or pulling on the sheet or blanket over her can be painful for her. So I can't share a sheet or blanket.
We asked an orthopedic surgeon about sleeping arrangements. He said he didn't think she could use a bed at all: she should be propped up in a reclining chair, with pillows. She will nap that way during the day, but wouldn't give up closeness to me at night. What could be done to increase the sense of normalcy, increase the sense of closeness, and, perhaps most importantly, increase my availability to do what she wants when she wants it?
We took a pile of pillows. We built a sort of nest for her in the bed. It is just a double bed (what would we want a larger one for, normally?) so there wasn't much room for me. But what room there was was much wider at the foot of the bed than at the head. The solution: make the bed, or nest, for her, and then put a pillow for me at the foot, give me a separate sheet, and have me lie parallel to her but with my head at her feet. My face is near her feet, ready to kiss or lick. If my arms reach out, I touch her legs - the part that I can touch. I can hug, kiss, cuddle, rub her legs and kiss and caress her feet whenever she wants, and as long as she wants.
It isn't the conventional sleeping arrangement for the submissive. I've never seen it in the "literature". But it works for us.
--
Is there any other couple here that has a sleeping arrangement of possible interest to the group? Does anyone in real life do any of the things that appear in the porn stories?
--
This is the end of the sequence of reports that I'd roughed out before the relatives arrived. So it may possibly be the last for awhile. I'll report back again when there is more to report and time to do so. Comments and discussion are invited.
And any notes that I can pass on to Mrs. Thorney, telling her how wonderful or helpful or ingenious she is or has been (or our postings have been) now or in the past, things she can read while convalescing, would be especially welcome. (She is now able to edit pictures using the mouse, but trying to type isn't working yet.)
--
Thorney
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)