Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Where does the sub sleep?

There are a great many images in literature of where the sub / slave sleeps. We can ignore the dungeon or stable, chained in the corner, in a wire cage in the middle of the living room; not my style. Kneeling naked in a wall niche, ready at hand, or on a pile of furs at the foot of the Master's or Mistress's bed - those have a sensuality of them that I can fantasize about, even get an erection from - but I wouldn't want to live them, on either side of the power equation.

Mrs. Thorney has been my wife and toy and sex object for many years, and I want her in bed, next to me, naked and available. We regret any circumstance when we have to give up any of those things - naked, available, and touching or in easy reach. Stuck in a twin-bedded room when traveling, we'll sleep together in one bed rather than give up the closeness.

But when she was mugged and seriously injured June 3, that was no longer a possibility. When I moved her from the hospital bed to a hotel bed June 7, she was still sore all over,heavily bandaged, right arm strapped to her body, a needle ("port") in her left arm for intravenous. On June 22nd, she still has the arm strapped to her body, plenty of bruises and tender spots, and hugging or cuddling or even random touching is still out of the question.

As I've said before, the main places I can touch are her feet and her legs below the knees. She is not sleeping well, and I can expect to be awakened at any time, literally "24/7", to talk, to fetch her a drink, find her a book to read, help her in the bathroom, or rub her feet. If she decides that she does want to go back to sleep, kissing and cuddling her feet, rubbing them, gentle stroking of her calves, is one of the best ways to soothe her, make her feel loved, and let her go back to sleep.

So if I'm going to be doing my job - whether you call me a companion, a lover, a submissive - I have to be in easy call, in easy reach, and even in easy reach of her feet. And, as it happens, sleeping beside her in our usual way is -not- a feasible solution.

First, sleeping beside her, I may unconsciously reach out to touch her. And I mustn't. Being able to get in and out of bed means she has to be on her back or left side, with the edge of the bed at her left. That puts her badly injured right side near me or on top, the area of her that will be do-not-touch for some time to come.

Second, her right side is so tender that even disturbing or pulling on the sheet or blanket over her can be painful for her. So I can't share a sheet or blanket.

We asked an orthopedic surgeon about sleeping arrangements. He said he didn't think she could use a bed at all: she should be propped up in a reclining chair, with pillows. She will nap that way during the day, but wouldn't give up closeness to me at night. What could be done to increase the sense of normalcy, increase the sense of closeness, and, perhaps most importantly, increase my availability to do what she wants when she wants it?

We took a pile of pillows. We built a sort of nest for her in the bed. It is just a double bed (what would we want a larger one for, normally?) so there wasn't much room for me. But what room there was was much wider at the foot of the bed than at the head. The solution: make the bed, or nest, for her, and then put a pillow for me at the foot, give me a separate sheet, and have me lie parallel to her but with my head at her feet. My face is near her feet, ready to kiss or lick. If my arms reach out, I touch her legs - the part that I can touch. I can hug, kiss, cuddle, rub her legs and kiss and caress her feet whenever she wants, and as long as she wants.

It isn't the conventional sleeping arrangement for the submissive. I've never seen it in the "literature". But it works for us.


Is there any other couple here that has a sleeping arrangement of possible interest to the group? Does anyone in real life do any of the things that appear in the porn stories?


This is the end of the sequence of reports that I'd roughed out before the relatives arrived. So it may possibly be the last for awhile. I'll report back again when there is more to report and time to do so. Comments and discussion are invited.

And any notes that I can pass on to Mrs. Thorney, telling her how wonderful or helpful or ingenious she is or has been (or our postings have been) now or in the past, things she can read while convalescing, would be especially welcome. (She is now able to edit pictures using the mouse, but trying to type isn't working yet.)

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